hyperactive | ic contact || deerington.

You talk so much, I bet you drive my father crazy.
I like it.

Are you a comedian as a profession, or is it a compulsion?

Maybe a mutation.

[:)]

I feel like it'd probably be a dick move to confirm that, but like.
I mean, I'm not denying it.

I'd like to think that if I had a mutation, I'd have something a little cooler than that.
Probability manipulation. Nobody ever thinks of probability manipulation.
Being able to say I'm going to wake up tomorrow with a 100% chance of being able to fly is infinitely more useful than limiting yourself with just I wish I could fly.
No offense to any friends you might have that can fly. I can't fly.
Man, I wish I could fly, though.

You can 100% guarantee that you'll have chips and candy left in your room, too.
That is just too bad.

How did you end up with a grouchy old man?

I had no choice, I do not count. He's my father.

Unforgivable. Genuinely unforgivable. You're not forgiven.
I'm gonna start putting all my food under lock and key. Even the food in my own house. Just in case you break in to ransack my kitchen.
Can't trust you.

Oh, uh. I mean, it's not a very funny story. I might lose some of my comedian cred.
Do you remember Rapture? Big, scary underwater city. Lots of bad dudes skittering around. Zombie douchebags.
Your dad was pretty sick, so I looked after him for a while. Then I got pretty badly hurt, so he looked after me for a while.
And now it's just. Like.

I mean, he's kind of helpless? Look at him. Big dumb bear walking around on two legs.
I'd feel pretty bad leaving him now. It'd be like abandoning a particularly ugly puppy.
Someone's gotta make sure he's feeding himself.

Edited 2020-06-13 05:41 (UTC)

Good luck.

[She has adamantium claws, Stiles, locks are her bitch.]

Thank you for looking after my dad.
Maybe I'll replace the chips for that.

He is not very good at taking care of himself.
It's a pain.

You're welcome. He's a pain for a lot of reasons.

[ no offense. ]

You seem like you do okay for yourself, though. Comparatively speaking.
Stealing other people's food. Parkouring around like nobody's business. Very independent.
Which is good. Great! Awesome. Independence is hard to come by. Especially at your age. So. Good work.
But.

[ how does he say "let's be friends" to someone half his age who is already so much cooler than him. how do people talk to kids? how do people talk to kids with knives for bones. augh augh ahg. ]

I mean, if you ever need someone to check in on you, or whatever, I can totally do that. Like, if you want someone to bring you more chips, or like - I don't know - just -
Generally make sure you're holding up okay? Then, like.
What's up. Hey. I can do that. I'm great at checking in on people. Pretty much what I do best, actually.

If you are trying to ask if we can be friends
then yes, we can be friends.

I am always happy to be friends with someone who will supply junk food.

Do you usually deal with grumpy old men at home, or is this a new job?

ic contact || deerington.

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