hyperactive | ic contact || deerington.

[ truth be told, the oreo cupcake did taste better - but that pales in comparison to the lightness he felt in his chest when he finally got to read the note attached to the space cupcake. knowing that billy remembered the movie they watched together, referenced it for his birthday and paired it with a present stiles never even asked for - it just means a lot to stiles, who values gifts as an expression of affection. this isn't the first time he's thought this, and it won't be the last - but billy is very, very sweet. ]

Kind of funny how "mean" was secondary to "like 300".
Like, the age thing? Total dealbreaker for you. The namecalling? Hey, some people like it rough.

[ there's a joke here to make about logan breaking his hip while he and billy go at it, but honestly, stiles' relationship with billy is probably a little too early for it to get into the vague, omnipresent horniness he tends to have with scott. in a lot of ways billy has proven to be slightly more considerate of a buddy than scott has been in the past, but man - that's even more of a reason to protect him from the hideous slurry of dick jokes, american pie references and stacy's mom renditions just ready to jump from stiles at any given moment.

besides, billy just keeps talking and... suddenly the thought stiles was having in the back of his mind about apologizing for dropping the dementia-bomb on billy in an ice cream parking lot feels a little less pressing. suddenly all he cares about is this. ]

Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Oh my god, this is so good. Oh my god. Okay.
Okay.
How did yshjdsfkjdgfjhgf

[ hold on, he needs a second. oh my god. okay. ]

How did you feel when he told you to get there first?
Just. You were just. You just accepted that?
You just allowed that to make sense in the interests of making amends?

i want you to know that you're literally the worst and i'm considering dropping my phone out of a second story window just so i don't have to have this conversation with you.

i know you haven't like directly called me an idiot so you haven't, technically, broken my rules yet but
this is definitely you calling me an idiot!!

i don't know, okay? i guess i thought maybe he'd need a hand bringing stuff in?
he said 'dinner for six' which at the time i thought meant six people
which i guess should have been a red flag because six people is a lot for him to put up with much less at a dinner setting
but also i'm realizing now that might have meant 'dinner for 6 o'clock'
anyway. no.
no, i did not question it
BUT HE ALSO DIDN'T QUESTION WHY I DIDN'T KNOW HIS ADDRESS???
i feel like this can't all be put on me

Edited 2020-04-13 08:48 (UTC)

I would never call you an idiot.
Didn't know you thought so little of me.
I'm actually, like.
Offended.
That you think I would do that.

[ so, wow. ok. wow. don't read the first letter of each line he just sent, billy. moving on. ]

Anyway, wow, you're definitely an idiot.

[ just gotta double down. ]

Really. Super embarrassing. You're lucky you're cute. Makes this whole thing kind of endearing instead of just humiliating. For you. Tragically, horribly humiliating.
Pretty sure if I came over when James didn't want me there he'd, like, full on Hansel and Gretel me. Throw me on the fire and serve me up when I'm done.
He must like you.

[ fortunately for billy, he doesn't have that detective eye like stiles, so he misses that first 'idiot'. feelings spared! ]

💔💔💔
i can't believe i trusted you to not be so judgmental of my naive optimism.

anyway, he doesn't like me.
i'm a stranger who let himself into his house, uninvited
(though to be fair i definitely had an invitation on my phone from him)
and then stuck around for dinner anyway.
i'm pretty sure he was like ten seconds away from gutting me like a fish before you showed up, hence why i was leaving.
so thanks for the save, i guess?
and the ice cream and the shake. you seriously didn't have to pay for that!
i have a job now. and we were even!
you have to let me get next time.

Oh. Well. You're welcome.
Both for the ice cream and the save. And the shake! Wow, you're welcome three times over. I'm such a generous friend. Handsome, too. Good at everything. All around impressive.
I could say we should duke out who's gonna pay for next time next time, but.
I mean.
Let's not. I'm kinda out of money. I don't think being a student pays half as well as having actual work.
Feel free to lavish expensive chicken tenders and pretzel dips on me whenever we hang out at the arcade. Permission granted.

[ this is where he would segue the conversation into... digging a little deeper into billy, finding out things about him he might want to know. hey, can i ask you something, followed by... well, just a couple of questions he's got on his mind. it's hard to do that, though - the bomb he dropped at the ice cream store is still weighing on him pretty hard, and try as he might to avoid it, stiles thinks he has to address it, just long enough to apologize. he won't dwell, but - ugh, he's not going to be able to settle down until he does. ]

Hey, real quick - I just wanted to say thanks for listening to me about everything. The, uh - you know. Cool ticking time bomb I let you in on without warning.
If you've got any questions about it, I guess I just want to say feel free to ask? Don't force yourself to come up with anything if you don't, though. Just, you know. Open door policy.
And, uh, I guess I also just wanted to apologize for bringing it up at all. I kind of regret telling you.
Not because I don't trust you? It's just a lot to drop on the really sweet dude who brings you cupcakes for your birthday.

yeah yeah yeah.
all i said was thanks.
don't let it go to your head
even though i'm pretty sure it's already too late for that.

but hey.
there's seriously no need to apologize for any of that, okay?
i'm honestly kind of glad you told me so like
if god forbid something happens to you, i won't be unprepared.
i mean, okay, i'll probably be unprepared because i don't know a lot about your condition, but i'll know what to tell an actual medical professional if you need help that i can't give you (i'm super good at the heimlich and chest compressions/cpr so if you choke on a chicken tender i got you covered).
i guess my only question is what should i expect?
like i know the general symptoms of dementia, i think.
but like, what made you and your dad suspect you might have it in the first place?

I've got eating chicken tenders down to a fine art, so first of all, I resent the implication that I'd choke on one. I'm not a freaking philistine.
Second, uh.
We saw the signs for what they were.
Behavioral changes. Night terrors, insomnia. Sleepwalking. Um.
Hallucinations? Irritability. Confusion, disassociation. Impulsiveness. Nausea? Haven't barfed because of this thing yet, but it's only a matter of time.
Things got pretty bad for a while. I got out of the house in the middle of the night, disappeared, had a ton of people looking for me. Woke up screaming when they found me. That's kind of been happening a lot? The screaming. Well, the disappearing acts, too. Not super fun.
My friend's mom, she's a nurse - she had to knock me out for a while so I could get some uninterrupted sleep. Loaded me up with midazolam. If I'd had some cocaine to snort and a hooker next to me, it could've been a very '80s rock star moment, but. Not that lucky, sadly.
Uh.

[ dot dot dot. ]

I kind of have trouble reading? It comes and goes. I usually use speech-to-text for... texting.
Totally wet myself in second grade. That wasn't a dementia thing, I just figured, you know.
I'm already oversharing. Might as well round it off with an embarrassing secret or two.
In for a penny.

Edited 2020-04-14 03:44 (UTC)

[ that is... quite a laundry list of symptoms. billy reads over them slowly, already starting to try to commit them to memory, just in case any of these things come up when he's around stiles. the last thing he wants to do is associate every little thing stiles does to a symptom of his illness, but it's just... it feels better to know the signs than to not know them.

anyway. the next reply that comes through is in the form of an audio file. ]

0:00 -⚫️———————————— 0:48

Wait, so. Siri or... whatever, reads all my texts to you? Everything I type is read off to you in a robot voice. Please tell me you picked a cool accent at least. —And excuse me, Your Chicken Tenderness, I'll never make that mistake again.

[ ... ]

... Anyway. [ there's a soft rustle of material as billy adjusts a pillow behind his head and stretches out his legs. ] So... You said your friend has been staying with you. Right? Because I mean - I don't mean to sound like I'm like... babying you or coddling you or anything or like you can't handle things by yourself, but — sleepwalking can be kind of dangerous. Especially if you're leaving the house? ... Especially here.

[ ... ]

Don't take this the wrong way, but - have you even been sleeping enough? You always look kinda tired, I just didn't want to do the - jerk thing and point it out.

[ it's hard for stiles to feel like he's not imposing at the best of times, so even though this is actually kind of a helpful switch, he can't deny the soft stirring of dread in his stomach when billy sends him an audio file. he's touched, but also kind of embarrassed, and rather than reply with a clip of his own, stiles just - calls billy directly. ring ring.

hi, he says, when billy picks up. there's a second or two before he continues. ]

So, uh - first of all, yes, your robot voice is beyond reproach. I made you a british gentleman. I already kind of miss him? He's way cooler than you.

[ ha ha. stiles stretches out, blinking up at the ceiling fan spinning in slow, gradual circles above him, moving too slowly to really blow any air down. he takes a breath. maybe this was a bad idea. it's easier to talk about harder shit over text. over audio clips. ]

Anyway - look, yeah, between James and my friend from home, I've got my bases covered. I didn't tell you this so you'd... feel like you need to take care of me, I just...

[ how does he word this? he won't say "don't worry about me", because he knows he kind of popped that can of worms open when he first brought this up, and he can't tell billy that he told him all of this because he's become a rather large cornerstone of his life here, because that'll add a layer of guilt into their friendship that he really isn't willing to pile on. it takes stiles another beat of hesitation before he settles on something (hopefully) neutral enough and cavalier enough to get his point across while keeping billy at relative ease. ]

We've been hanging out a lot, lately. I wanted to give you a heads up about this thing I'm dealing with in case something did go bad while we were together, or - I don't know, maybe this is a dealbreaker! Maybe you wanna run screaming to the hills now. That's fine! Better you know sooner rather than later, or. Whatever.

[ stiles sits up, mildly annoyed. he's screwing this up. he sounds kind of impatient when he keeps talking. frustrated. he could be handling this better. ]

Look, I've been having a pretty good month, so with any luck, we'll actually never have to talk about this again. We're in a magic freaking fairyland - this could come good on its own. Who knows.

Edited 2020-04-14 04:43 (UTC)

[ idly, billy wonders if a british accent is something he could pull of. he's never really tried before, not seriously, but he's also not about to make an attempt over the phone to stiles, either. he listens to stiles, lightly drumming his fingertips against the center of his chest, beating out a quiet, unsteady rhythm.

there are couple instances where billy almost interjects - he doesn't feel like he needs to take care of stiles, and that's not necessarily what he meant to imply if it came off that way, he just... wants to make sure stiles is safe, and that he does have people to take care of him if he needs it. that's all.

unaware that stiles has sat up, billy sits up too one leg kind of folded, the other outstretched, a little bent. he reaches out and grabs around his calf, slides his hand down to his ankle, stretching out his back while holding the phone to his ear with his other hand. stiles' tone is a little sharp - billy feels bad, like maybe he shouldn't have asked questions even though stiles said he could.

once stiles tapers off and billy finally figure out what to say, he's a little quieter than he was before, though not by much. ]

... Yeah. Yeah, maybe it'll... work out. [ there's a significant pause here, a quiet inhale that suggests he's going to continue, though he may not want to. ] And— and if it doesn't - it's not a dealbreaker, Stiles. I'm not going to stop being your friend just because things might get a little - complicated sometimes.

[ but - all stiles had to do was mention magic, and billy is already thinking, again, about what could do to help stiles. not because he feels he needs to, but because he wants to, if he can. billy sighs, tilting his head back to stare up at his ceiling. ... would it be childish of him to put glow in the dark stars up there? ]

Anyway... sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. My fault - I shouldn't have asked.

[ billy didn't imply that he needs to help him, no, he made it pretty clear that he was just checking in and being kind - but responding to negative conclusions and hyperbole in an attempt to play down what you're really thinking is just a part of being defensive, when you're stiles stilinski. he doesn't like that billy has to worry about him at all - he doesn't like that he's fucked up a conversation about cupcakes and thank yous with more depressing talk about his condition and his mom and their being stuck here in deer-hell together. he just... ]

You didn't upset me. I just feel like an asshole.

[ he just doesn't feel good about any of this. he doesn't feel good about making billy feel as if he shouldn't have asked, too, and stiles' tone is still sharp, he can't help that, but he's trying very hard to soften it. he pinches the bridge of his nose and closes his eyes, making a quiet, frustrated noise beneath his breath. he's not sure if he can explain what he's feeling, he's not sure if he has that self-awareness. right now everything begins and ends with him feeling bad, whatever that means. ]

I'm sorry. Okay?

[ still sharp, still frustrated, but stiles hears it and bites the inside of his cheek, opening and closing his mouth like he's trying to think of something better to say to smooth this all out. he should be good at finding the right words, he usually is - but right now, nothing comes. ]

[ well. this isn't exactly where he pictured this conversation headed at the start of it. how they went from talking about how hanging out was cool, to cupcakes, to both of them being sorry (one of them unnecessarily, stiles) and feeling awkward is a little bit of a blur, but billy is determined to try and get things back on track, or at least a little less... blue.

not that billy minds heavy conversation, because he doesn't, but he can tell just by stiles' tone that maybe he just doesn't want to talk about this anymore - and that's fair. billy doesn't blame him for that at all.

billy drags his foot up so he's sitting butterfly style with one hand gripping his socked feet, fingers pinching at a loose thread near the seam across his toes, eyes watching his own hand kind of distantly. his hair is flopped over his forehead, sort of falling into his eye with his chin tilted down. ]

You're not an asshole. [ ... ] I mean, you're kind of an asshole for not telling me you had a car before tonight and making me walk to the arcade in the middle of the night... in the middle of the day. That one time.

[ it might be able to tell just from his tone that he's smiling, or at least trying not to laugh. ]

... But otherwise? You're pretty cool - even if you did wet yourself in the second grade.

[ it's kind of hard to shake off the anxiety and the bad mood that he put himself in, but stiles knows it's not billy's fault he feels this way, and he's not going to let the guilt of not magically being able to talk about his brain rotting as clearly and as concisely as possible ruin the rest of their night. he laughs, kind of forced, but the more he talks, the better he starts to feel. ]

I wanted to come and pick you up! I distinctly remember offering! The only reason I didn't double down and tell you about Roscoe is because you blew me off and I didn't want to be, like, "hey, no, I wanna show you my car, maybe score a couple of points out of it, let me come get you". Seemed like a particularly pathetic needle to try and thread.

[ a pause. ]

She used to be my mom's. I think she's supposed to be a guy? Like, her name is "Roscoe", but. C'mon, she's a car, she's gotta be a girl.

[ billy flings his hand up to the ceiling and then just- flops backwards with a soft huff as some of the air's knocked out of his lungs. ]

I thought you were asking to like - walk to my place to come get me and then walk all the way back! I was trying to be nice and not make you walk all that way when you live, like, ten feet from the arcade. I'm pretty sure I said that, too. You should have just told me you had a car. [ ... ] Walking was still nice though.

[ billy pauses for a moment, squirming to get more comfortable, eyes on the ceiling. ]

... I think— I'm only like, seventy-five percent sure, so don't quote me on this or anything, but I'm pretty sure "Roscoe" comes from the Old Norse words for "doe wood"? And doe is female, so...

I mean, that also doesn't really matter. If you say she's a girl then she's a girl.

Edited 2020-04-14 07:16 (UTC)

[ ah, well, it's not important now - stiles laughs a little, making a note to himself to pick billy up without asking, next time, just so he has more of an opportunity to show off his car to someone who is at least pretending to appreciate her. he's about to make some stupid, sarcastic joke about walking that probably wouldn't make sense or even go anywhere when he gets distracted by billy's lesson in etymology.

stiles pauses. he pauses, and he pauses, and then very quietly, he says, with all the affection in the world: ]

Nerd.

[ what a nerd? oh my god, hold on. stiles sits up, getting excited. he's known billy was a nerd since they met in a fucking arcade, but that was some truly nerdy shit he just slammed down between them. stiles doubles down. speaks a little louder. ]

Neeeeeerd. Neeeeeeeeeeerd.

[ if there's one thing billy has been called other than his name, it's "nerd"- maybe even more than he's been called by his name, but his childhood was full of bullies (mostly one, though) who didn't appreciate his love for things like superheroes and comics and lord of the rings, among other things.

coming from stiles, it doesn't really bother him at all - he's past letting people push him around now that he's older, and it's pretty clear that stiles is just teasing him just to tease. pot calling the kettle black, considering all the stereotypically "nerdy" movies he has on his laptop alone.

still, billy groans and slaps his hand over his face, sighing into the phone and stiles needles it in that he's a big ol' dweeb. he laughs a little, but it's mostly muffled by the edge of is palm, which he moves so he can talk over stiles. ]

Oh my goddd, oh my godddddd, okay. Okay, shut up, I'm a nerd, we get iiiit.

[ he drags his hand down his chin to his chest, laughs again under his breath. ]

Anyway, you're one to talk. I've seen your movie collection, you have no room to be calling me a nerd.

[ oh, this is definitely a spiderman pointing at spiderman situation for sure. if billy wanted to rip on stiles for having a surplus of niche, unusable knowledge, he'd be more than well equipped to do just that. that doesn't stop stiles from teasing, though. that's just what friends do. ]

Woah, woah. We're not talking about me right now. We're talking about King of Nerds, the big, dorky dweebmeister himsef, Billy McDingus. You are a great, towering statue, representative of the heights one's nerdiness can reach. I'm just a guy who knows how to torrent.

[ it's hitting stiles somewhere in the back of his mind that it's getting pretty late, and that he should probably let billy go soon - but he completely squashes that thought down into the back of his mind, pretending he hadn't thought it. ]

Probably kind of weird that her name comes from doe, all things considered. [ you know - because of all the deer. anyway, though - ] I didn't really peg you for a name guy, but I could totally see you having a Nordic stage and spiraling out from there. Picking up knowledge, learning the language. Most middleschoolers have a Nordic stage, a Greek mythology phase, a dragon phase or an Egypt phase, I think.

[ or all four if you're like stiles, baby. ]

[ as stiles lists off title after title pertaining to his intelligence, thank you, billy just lays there sprawled on his back with one foot tangled up in the sheet, silently mocking stiles by opening and closing his free hand like a lobster claw, rolling his eyes while trying not to smile. blah, blah, blah, yack, yack, yack.

billy stretches his arm backwards over his head once stiles is done and lets it drape across the pillow tucked under his head. he probably shouldn't give stiles any more fuel to throw on this fire, but - well, who cares? stiles is a giant nerd too, from what billy can tell, and it's been a little while since he's been able to just - be his true, nerdy self without someone telling him to shut up. the last time was with— well. it doesn't matter. ]

It's... less of a name thing and more of a mythology thing - Norse more than Greek or Roman, but I know a lot about those, too. You just kind of pick up some language along the way, and then that spirals into wanting to know more of it, blah blah blah, you get it. [ billy pauses, drawing his knee up to try and untangle his foot. ] ... I actually had a, um. Lord of the Rings phase in middle school?

[ he clears his throat, breathes in— ]

Quetin Eldarin. Ma quetit Eldarin? Ma hanyat ni?

[ stiles is genuinely interested in this - learning more about billy's likes, learning more about the things he's interested in, that's something he's wanted to explore for a while now. he's relaxing into his bed again, laying down, one knee drawn up while the other leg splays outstretched, settling into the comfort of hearing billy's voice - when out of fucking nowhere, the bitch drops elvish. ]

Oh my god? Oh my god, oh my god. Oh my god.

[ if he thought he was interested in billy before, that's, like, nothing compared to now. he sits up, the loud thunk reverberating through his phone coming from the end table he just knocks and rattles with his shoulder. shit, ignore that. ]

Yé mána. Lóme sina nauva anda.

[ -- wait, okay, no, hold on, slightly sexually charged language there. stiles clears his throat, takes his second shot. ]

Nál as meldo. I lambe sirya lambenyallo.

[ at first, billy isn't entirely sure what part of anything he said that's stiles is reacting to, or if - something's happening to or around stiles that he just isn't aware of. for a moment, he feels the tiny ember of panic start to flare up near the bottom of his ribs, but he only gets as far as pushing up onto an elbow before stiles is shooting some elvish right back at him.

billy blinks, and then promptly drops back onto his back, letting out a loud, bright laugh, clapping his hand over his chest. there's nothing funny about what stiles has replied with - well, you're in for a long night is kind of questionable, though billy is mostly sure he means no harm by it - billy is just. he's happy.

of course stiles also speaks elvish. of course he does. billy tries to tame some of his laughter, clearing his throat again. ]

Yé! Okay. Okay, uhhh. Feanya ná alassea! Ma quetil acáriel, mellon.

[ laughing again, billy sighs into the phone. ]

... God, I can't believe you really sat there and called me a nerd.

[ stiles just lights up when billy laughs, the excitement and the recognition and the joy of sharing this with someone else all rolling through him at once. he's never had a friend like this - someone willing to sit down and talk to him in some stupid fucking fantasy language that he spent months memorizing and practicing and learning all so he could write notes to himself that nobody would understand and talk on forums with people who lose interest within weeks of signing up. this is just - nice. ]

I sure did. Á apsene ni.

[ stiles drops back into bed, another thud heard through the receiver of his fluid as the mattress bounces beneath him. he's grinning, now, well and truly distracted from any - unpleasantness, from earlier. it's the rain, really, that makes it so much easier for him to just feel better. stiles doesn't think that, though. stiles thinks it's all billy.

he swallows, going quiet. just for a moment. ]

Hey, uh - you're pretty great. I just wanna say - you've totally made getting stuck out here with all the cultists and the killers almost worth it. I like you a lot.

[ stiles isn't the first person here that billy's been able to converse with in elvish, but he is the first he's actually been able to speak it with. he'd gone back and forth a little with quentin not too long ago, but there's quite a difference between writing and speaking in billy's opinion, and it's been way too long since he's been able to toss out a little quenya like it's nothing.

billy already thought stiles was a pretty good friend, but this? this just shot him pretty much all the way to the top. billy's... happy. he feels lucky to have met someone he can just be nerdy with and not feel stupid or lowkey judged, or humored. next, he'll have to see if stiles can read and write aurebesh.

stiles gets a little sentimental, and billy goes quiet too, a little touched if he's honest. he closes his eyes and smiles faintly to himself, finally starting to feel sleep pulling at his edges. he's not about to fall asleep, but he'll probably start to get there soon. when he answers, his voice is a little quieter, skirting the edges of mumbling. ]

... Yeah? I wouldn't say I'm great, but - I'm glad. That I can help things suck a little less, I mean. But - I like you a lot too. You're pretty great. Nán alassea omenita tye, Stiles.

Ugh, shut up.

[ another laugh, quieter than the last. he kind of wants to head out now, put today to bed - dinner with logan was A Lot, and dwelling on turning eighteen an entire planar fucking universe away from his dad has been weighing on him for the past few days, too. he just needs a good night's sleep to wash away all this heavy, sentimental stirring in his chest, and now that they're heading towards a lull in the conversation, he feels like he could probably sign off pretty easily. ]

Thanks again for the cupcakes. And...

[ but he still doesn't really want to. stiles darts his tongue between his lips and casts around for words to fill the silence, an excuse to stretch talking to billy out a little while longer. he comes up empty, and it's obvious he's coming up empty, from the quiet ums and uhs to the gentle stretches of nothing between them. ]

And, um. Yeah. I....

[ another pause, until stiles lands on something that works. ]

What's, um - oh! We could watch another movie together? If you want to. Not now, but - soon, maybe?

[ listening to the sound of stiles' voice and the gentle, distant sound of his breathing over the phone is, for whatever reason, very soothing to billy, who finds himself relaxing rather quickly, slowly approaching that hazy space between being awake and asleep. he doesn't laugh so much as he hums when stiles tells him to shut up, but it's still fairly evident in just the one note that he's at least a little bit amused.

billy's mostly aware that he should probably let stiles go now that the conversation seems to be winding down, but it's just... a lot easier to listen to him kind of stumble his way through trying to find something else they could talk about. he breathes in through his nose, forcing his eyes open a little to keep himself from crossing that threshold between alert and asleep so he can answer stiles. ]

Mn, no, yeah. Definitely. Another movie sounds good. You can pick. I'll, um. I'll bring the... chicken tenders. Or whatever you want. On me. Or you can come here and I'll have 'em here for you. Bring Frogger's boyfriend.

[ stiles still wants to drag this out, but he's starting to hear the sleepiness in billy's voice, and it starts to feel like something of a dick move to drag his feet on hanging up. there's more jokes in his head, stupid little comments about chicken tenders and frogger's boyfriend all lined up and ready to spring out, but he loses his battle of wills against himself. he's gotta let billy go. ]

We can plan it out later. I'll text you?

[ if i can read the letters, ha ha, he almost says, just barely, barely, barely managing to stop himself but genuinely wincing all the same. jesus. he shakes his head, even though billy can't see it. ]

Night, Billy.

(no subject)

billiam - 2020-04-15 01:06 (UTC) - Expand